The white quilt and rose

Have you ever been at a care center and saw a white quilt and long stemmed rose laying on a bed? It is a small memorial to the resident who just died. Some care centers do it, some don't. How long the rose stays there is determined by how soon the center needs the bed.

One of the residents passed at the center that I work at. We didn't think she would make it through the night but for some reason she did. I had to go to work this afternoon for a meeting and when I arrived there the hearse was back up to the back door. Why the back door? To me it looks like it was a delivery truck. I suppose they do not go to the front door because of respect and privacy. Go to the front!! Let people see that there has been a death. When ever I see a hearse, where ever I am, I think of what might of happened. What kind of person they were. I think of the family and loved ones. So, when I see a hearse I pay my tribute to the person's life even when I have no idea who it was.

The resident that passed was from the area. Elderly. Lived her life. Must have been loved by someone. Must have loved someone. I only met her when I started working at this care center. What a lady. She usually sat up most of the night. Calling out for help. She didn't need it--all her needs were met except for one--she was lonely. Like I already said I didn't think she would make it though my shift last night. I could hear death in her lungs. She was looking at something, somewhere that I couldn't see. When I first got to work I went in her room to see how she was doing. I spoke to her and the only response was to grab my hand. I held hers for awhile but then had to pull hers from mine. I had a job to do and that was to help care for the other 70+ residents. (that's the number of them, not their age)

I wonder if she died alone. I don't think she wanted to. I don't know anything about her family, if she has any left. I do know that in the nursing report from the shift before us it was stated that a certain person could be called to sit with her if needed. **Was she called? Not on my shift she wasn't. **Who would make the decision to call in family or anyone else? My charge nurse. **Could I make the suggestion to make the call? Probably. **Would she listen to my suggestion? Probably---------not. **Did she call anyone? No. **Did she know that the resident did not want to be alone? Yes, I told her what had happened.

I have seen my share of death as I am sure that most of you have. I've seen it linger and I've seen sneak up fast. I've smelled death. (remember when that was-sister #3) I've prepared bodies for the undertaker to pick up. We all react to it in different ways, but I hope that I never get too used to it and cold about it like some. I know its part of my job but just because I punch in at work doesn't mean that I have to turn off my compassion for people. Why and how can some people?